In my childhood home, there weren't many apologies. I was raised with the "don't talk about it and it'll go away on its own" method. Not surprisingly, my family isn't close. I'm a passionate and firm believer in apologies. It takes real guts to own up and apologize when it's your turn. Apologizing is a skill very few children see modeled and fewer still adults seem to ever master. I practice apologizing to my kid (7) because I mess up sometimes and owe her an apology. Even though she's little and always forgives me in a heartbeat, it still takes all of my effort to muster the words I must say. Instead of carrying on the tradition of not talking about stuff, I make every effort to model behavior that will equip her with tools to identify and establish healthy relationships. I try not to be too hard on myself when I mess up and view it as an opportunity to demonstrate (yet again) how to authentically make amends. It's easy to feel bitterness towards those who choose fear over making amends. The wonderful and liberating news is, we can experience real forgiveness and compassion for someone who hasn't apologized when we recognize the fear that ensnares them. It's not necessarily our job to educate them on how to overcome that fear. We can accept their reality and move forward with compassion. The most authentic expression of facing down the ego is a genuine apology. I'll be sitting with that thought.🌿 "...the world is kept whole by those who can overcome their fear..." - Mark Nepo
